Written by: Philip K. Dick
Apparently the inspiration for Blade Runner, though kind of like “Moby Dick” was the inspiration for “Jaws”. I think it was dark with a lot of narration from inside people’s minds. Pretty much a short story with a little future space stuff.
Length: 3 hrs
6/2002: I totally don’t remember anything about this book but I’m sure it was cool. That’s only slightly less than than the three scenes I remember from the movie, which were the guy asking about a thirsty tortoise getting blown away by the android screaming “Let me tell you about my mother!”, when Darryl Hannah did a bunch of backflips and then got shot in the stomach, and the little origami pterodactyl at the end which I’ve been told was very meaningful of something I do not recall. So I think, in the end, the answer is yes, androids do dream of electric sheep. Mostly, the sheep are humping.
Written by: Douglas Adams
Fun, wacky stuff. You should read it. Unless you’re always super serious about stuff in which case you’ll probably find it to be a nonsensical waste of time. To this I say that you are a nonsensical waste of time.
Length: 5.5 hrs
6/2002: Actually I don’t remember a whole lot about this one (okay, okay, it is kind of fluffy goofiness) but that’s what’s nice about. Short, sweet, smooth. Like a tiny mimosa.
Start your lazy journey today. Someday you too could be struggling to remember what the heck you heard while drooling on the guy sitting next to you on the bus.
Written by: George Orwell
Opening note – this is likely the only review of 1984 that does not contain the word “dystopia”. Just not gonna do it. While starting off fairly sedately and matter of factly bringing the reader (er, listener) into a believable world of the future, you are able to maintain hope things will work out okay and a hero will eventually burst Apple ad-like onto the scene and stick it to the man. Instead, it gets darker and darker, and worse and worse for all characters involved, with the State relentlessly tightening the noose and closing any and all loopholes discovered by the crushed citizenry to catch rare glimpses of light or hope. By the end you feel nothing but hopelessness, with all avenues of escape cut off by intensely logical and thorough systems. The progression towards complete and utter subjugation of the individual seems to not only make sense, but also the right and only reasonable conclusion of human society. Oh joy.
Length: 11.5 hrs
6/2002: Holy crap. I enjoyed this book for a while due to the interesting story and seeing (er, hearing) where lots of phrases and concepts used in the common language came from. But then it gets more and more depressing and almost literally turns to fear that this could actually happen here and we would be totally screwed and by the end you just want to take a long hot path in the fetal position. You should totally buy this book.
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Written by: Henry N. Raymond
You may as well just listen to a Spanish radio station. At least then you’ll be sure to learn that “Domingo! Domingo! Domingo!” means “Sunday”. Seriously, it’s pretty much impossible to learn a language just by listening to someone speak a couple times and then move on without any real way of going back (do much searching on your MP3 player lately?) or having it sink in and stick.
Length: 3 hrs
5/2002: It’s possible this is actually a super effective learning tool and it just didn’t work for me since I was on the bus and not actually driving, which I guess would make it my own damn fault. Dios Mio!
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Written by: Susan Jeffers
Great title. Save yourself 6 hours and just do it (whatever “it” is) and skip the book. I guess if you’re convinced you’re worthless and need someone to tell you over and over you can actually get somewhere in life if you go to a lot of therapy and try real hard it’s a worthwhile read. If you’ve already progressed past the basketcase stage there’s not much for you here.
Length: 6 hrs
6/2002: This was my second audio book, and I was still easily impressionable towards snappy titles. I don’t remember much and had to refresh my memory again, and quickly realized this was one of my early “fluffy self improvement” books (though unfortunately not last, I’m still a sucker for a snappy title) that I guess helped in the sense of realizing I must be better off than at least the million folks who bought the book previously. A good sign of someone spouting lamo basic psychology for losers is that they have several books out there with very similar titles (you’ll see a pattern here which again I learned too late to save my Audible credits…).
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Written by: Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter, C.P.A.
Douche Dad. While there is a reasonable “don’t be a sucker” message and sane advice like “don’t buy depreciating assets with high interest credit cards”, it’s certainly nothing new. Spoiler alert: My opinion of this author goes down from here. First off, anyone who views the world (let’s be honest, the U.S.) as being comprised of 3 “people”, as in “the rich”, “the middle class”, and “the poor” is an idiot. Kiyosaki then goes on to basically make shit up (or grossly oversimplify) at best, and advocate both immoral and frequently illegal practices at worst. I’m pretty fed up with the often repeated (not surprisingly usually in books that use phrases like “the rich”) assertion that “it’s so easy to get wealthy if you play by a different set of rules.” While I definitely agree most wealthy people have a different “attitude” (i.e. if you work hard and focus on a goal you can achieve amazing things), most of the “rules” Kiyosaki advocates are there for a reason, and many are called “laws”. This book seems to equate the ability to get around these laws (often in place for the public good) as being smart and deserving of the extra wealth (offshore tax havens, etc). At least most authors have the common decency to respect the hard-working-but-just-can’t-win out there and reserve their disdain for the genuinely lazy or malicious, Kiyosaki openly mocks anyone who doesn’t list their cat as their corporate secretary. I do have to give him credit though, he’s managed to stretch his nonsense and assholery into a more than 20 (Rich Dad’s Guide to Your Mom…) book series, very likely making him a rich dad indeed.
Length: 3 hrs
5/2002: This was my first foray into the world of audio books. I vaguely remember reading it and thinking there were about 30 minutes of interesting and potentially useful lessons and that the rest made me want to punch this guy in the face. Full Disclosure: I had to go back and look at excerpts on Amazon (no longer available on Audible) to jog my memory and write this post. His continuing career as a jerkwad and insistence on shitting out many, many more books with little to no additional information without remorse for the “non-rich” to buy (at least he practices what he preaches) makes me feel vindicated in this early view of him as a weenie.
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